physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
