In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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