you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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