I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
