we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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