Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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