I can't breathe out the right side of my face
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
