Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
