i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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