It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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