dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
