Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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