you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
