the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
