The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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