Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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