I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you inspire me to be a worse person
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
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