So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
