we're blogging at a bar
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it glows. i had to have it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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