Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
