I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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