Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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