Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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