We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
