She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
