Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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