Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You are a genius and a whore.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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