I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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