So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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