i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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