you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
