This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
