nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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