My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
