I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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