what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
