i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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