so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
