My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
