Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
