After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i think we sleep fucked last night...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
