I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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