I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
