i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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