My sheets look like a crime scene.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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