I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
