I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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