Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
