I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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