this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
