When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
