Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
