Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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