The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
