she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
