Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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