dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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