I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
