if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
