I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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